Ok..i do need to state my opinion in this matter. I don't care what people think. I agree to disagree so if you don't like what you read...it's not my problemo amigo.
So, lately banyak betul kecaman yang diberikan kepada polis kita. I feel that this is unfair. Memanglah, aku sangat bersimpati dengan nasib yang menimpa Allayarham dan keluarga tapi sedikit sebanyak kesalahan tu tetap ada pada dia.
Dalam kecoh-kecoh orang ramai mempolitikkan isu ni dan menghentam pihak polis, ramai yang terlupa bahawa PDRM hanya menjalankan tugas mereka. It is amazing when you consider the effect of thinking on behaviour (happened when you SEE behaviour) VS the effect of emotions on behaviour (happened when you heard about the behaviour). It is powerful advice given by John Kotter in his book "A Sense of Urgency" when he suggested "Don't tell but SHOW!"
Kita yang membaca dan mendengar tentang kejadian ini more often than not akan menaakul menggunakan emosi tapi kalau kita sendiri yang melihat adegan sewaktu kejadian, mungkin kita akan turut empati terhadap PDRM.
Don't forget, ia tetap satu kesalahan memandu di bawah umur, tanpa lesen dan dalam keadaan berbahaya. I believe semua kejadian berlaku dengan cepat dan polis pun tak dan nak cam yang memandu tu budak di bawah umur yang sedang dalam keadaan ketakutan dan panik melarikan diri dari gundalan jalanan yang mengejar dia dengan motorsikal. Dalam waktu yang singkat, the picture paints a different story. Aku percaya yang PDRM ada basis untuk mengesyaki sesuatu yang tak baik berlaku. It just that it is so sad because streotype keadaan tidak memihak kepada Allahyarham. I know dia hanya seorang budak, tetapi kalau PDRM nak deduce samada seseorang tu penjenayah or tak berdasarkan umur, then macam mana hangpa nak explain tentang kejadian jenayah yang dilakukan oleh remaja? Tapi PDRM memang salah le bila main tuduh jek yang budak tu penjenayah. Ni masalahnya bila jadi defensif. Kurang pro di situ tapi itulah kelemahan kita sebagai manusia biasa...
We see what we want to see. Besok-besok bila polis dah tak meronda or hesitate to take action sebab takut dipersalahkan lagi, pastu kita nak buat apa? Kita bisinglah pulakkan yang PDRM tak kompeten le, itu ler, ini ler. Macamlah depa tu semua ada psychic ability.
Aku rasa, for the time being, kita sama-samalah doakan kebaikan kepada pihak-pihak yang terlibat. My heart goes out to Allahyarham dan famili tapi just because the unfiortunate event happened, tak bermaksud yang salah tetiba jadi betul. I guess semua orang kena take-up responsibility.
Ingat tak pesanan gomen dalam advertisement satu ketika dulu "Adakah anda tahu di manakah anak anda?"
Fikir-fikirkanlah....
Al-Fatihah.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Self-pitying Nonsense (As Per G)
I was called a self-pitying nonsense by someone who is dear to my heart till 5 minutes before this word were uttered. I'm wallowing in self-pity..what a pathetic being I must be.
Why? I don't know but maybe that is the ugly truth I need to swallow. However, with a sliver of dignity left, I had erased all contacts to this being. Well, I accept negativity and condemnation, but the hurts make it too much to bear. I need to severe ties in order to nurse my wounded pride.
Well, I looked up in wikepedia about the definition of self-pity, not that I don't know but it is a sweet torture to my pathetic existence. For this, I shall remember that sometimes, some people are just not worthy....and that is more pathetic than me. I seek attention though it was not me who promised to pursue friendship and keeping the memory alive even after circumstances change. And what I get for being me?
A title : Self-pitying Nonsense..
Damn..I do fell like I'm a load of BS.
I hate you..hate you to the core of my very being.
.
.
.
.
Self-pity is the psychological state of mind of an individual in perceived adverse situations who has not accepted the situation and does not have the confidence nor ability to cope with it. It is characterized by a person's belief that he or she is the victim of events and is therefore deserving of condolence. Self-pity is generally regarded as a negative emotion in that it does not generally help deal with adverse situations.
Self-pity is a way of paying attention to oneself, albeit negatively; it is a means self-soothing or self-nurturing ("I hurt so much").
Social-Learning theorists purport that self-pity is a method for gaining attention, probably as a child, where an individual received attention, support, and nurturing while being sick or hurt. The child then grows up having learned to give attention to oneself (or ask for attention from others) while in real or dramatized distress to receive the same payoff. Thus, another form of self-sustainment can be sympathy offered by others: "oh, you poor thing." This is particularly true of individuals who exhibit sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies[citation needed] and rely on the sympathy offered by others as a means to manipulate.
The nature and depth of human pride are illuminated by comparing boasting with self-pity. Both are manifestations of pride. Boasting is the response of pride to success. Self-pity is the response of pride to suffering. Boasting says, “I deserve admiration because I have achieved so much.” Self-pity says, “I deserve admiration because I have sacrificed so much.” Boasting is the voice of pride in the heart of the strong. Self-pity is the voice of pride in the heart of the weak. Boasting sounds self-sufficient. Self-pity sounds self-sacrificing.
The reason self-pity does not look like pride is that it appears to be needy. But the need arises from a wounded ego, and the desire of the self-pitying is not really for others to see them as helpless, but as heroes. The need self-pity feels does not come from a sense of unworthiness, but from a sense of unrecognized worthiness. It is the response of unapplauded pride
Why? I don't know but maybe that is the ugly truth I need to swallow. However, with a sliver of dignity left, I had erased all contacts to this being. Well, I accept negativity and condemnation, but the hurts make it too much to bear. I need to severe ties in order to nurse my wounded pride.
Well, I looked up in wikepedia about the definition of self-pity, not that I don't know but it is a sweet torture to my pathetic existence. For this, I shall remember that sometimes, some people are just not worthy....and that is more pathetic than me. I seek attention though it was not me who promised to pursue friendship and keeping the memory alive even after circumstances change. And what I get for being me?
A title : Self-pitying Nonsense..
Damn..I do fell like I'm a load of BS.
I hate you..hate you to the core of my very being.
.
.
.
.
Self-pity is the psychological state of mind of an individual in perceived adverse situations who has not accepted the situation and does not have the confidence nor ability to cope with it. It is characterized by a person's belief that he or she is the victim of events and is therefore deserving of condolence. Self-pity is generally regarded as a negative emotion in that it does not generally help deal with adverse situations.
Self-pity is a way of paying attention to oneself, albeit negatively; it is a means self-soothing or self-nurturing ("I hurt so much").
Social-Learning theorists purport that self-pity is a method for gaining attention, probably as a child, where an individual received attention, support, and nurturing while being sick or hurt. The child then grows up having learned to give attention to oneself (or ask for attention from others) while in real or dramatized distress to receive the same payoff. Thus, another form of self-sustainment can be sympathy offered by others: "oh, you poor thing." This is particularly true of individuals who exhibit sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies[citation needed] and rely on the sympathy offered by others as a means to manipulate.
The nature and depth of human pride are illuminated by comparing boasting with self-pity. Both are manifestations of pride. Boasting is the response of pride to success. Self-pity is the response of pride to suffering. Boasting says, “I deserve admiration because I have achieved so much.” Self-pity says, “I deserve admiration because I have sacrificed so much.” Boasting is the voice of pride in the heart of the strong. Self-pity is the voice of pride in the heart of the weak. Boasting sounds self-sufficient. Self-pity sounds self-sacrificing.
The reason self-pity does not look like pride is that it appears to be needy. But the need arises from a wounded ego, and the desire of the self-pitying is not really for others to see them as helpless, but as heroes. The need self-pity feels does not come from a sense of unworthiness, but from a sense of unrecognized worthiness. It is the response of unapplauded pride
Am I doomed?
Update...
Went for the test yesterday. So nervous, thus had to asked hubby to drive me to the test centre. I came there early because I thought it will give me ample time to relax and meditate. However, destiny has it own scheme for me.
The interviewer came in five (5) minutes after me. Since I'm the only one loyally sitting infront of the room, he asked me to go in with him so we can start on time. I complied and that was the first screw-up. Seeing him preparing all his gadgets make me more anxious. I can hear my heart thumping like african drums. I try to remain calm but I guess the idea of being evaluated, being scrutinized make me so uncomfortable.
So the test begin with simple question that I, being a nervous-wrecked that I am, failed to answer impressively. Conciously, I'm making a fool out of myself. Yet, to further insults my intelligence, I continued the blabbering without substance. I thought it would be a relaxed conversation. But, I only knew it after the test was over that there's a time-cap on your replies. Dear oh dear...I feel like kicking myself so hard till this very moment.
The facial expression of the person sitting across me also did not put any ease. He would throw questions mechanically and had this impatience streaks listening (or is it limited to hearing?) to my answers. I walked out from the room defeated. How could I be so weak to let another soul manipulated my feelings? I so hate it when i doubted myself. But, no one else to blame...I, with my own hands had sabotaged my performance. If only I let it flowed without being judgemental to myself, it would be so easy to digest now.
I don't suffer fools gladly...even if the fool is ME!
Went for the test yesterday. So nervous, thus had to asked hubby to drive me to the test centre. I came there early because I thought it will give me ample time to relax and meditate. However, destiny has it own scheme for me.
The interviewer came in five (5) minutes after me. Since I'm the only one loyally sitting infront of the room, he asked me to go in with him so we can start on time. I complied and that was the first screw-up. Seeing him preparing all his gadgets make me more anxious. I can hear my heart thumping like african drums. I try to remain calm but I guess the idea of being evaluated, being scrutinized make me so uncomfortable.
So the test begin with simple question that I, being a nervous-wrecked that I am, failed to answer impressively. Conciously, I'm making a fool out of myself. Yet, to further insults my intelligence, I continued the blabbering without substance. I thought it would be a relaxed conversation. But, I only knew it after the test was over that there's a time-cap on your replies. Dear oh dear...I feel like kicking myself so hard till this very moment.
The facial expression of the person sitting across me also did not put any ease. He would throw questions mechanically and had this impatience streaks listening (or is it limited to hearing?) to my answers. I walked out from the room defeated. How could I be so weak to let another soul manipulated my feelings? I so hate it when i doubted myself. But, no one else to blame...I, with my own hands had sabotaged my performance. If only I let it flowed without being judgemental to myself, it would be so easy to digest now.
I don't suffer fools gladly...even if the fool is ME!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Todaaaaaay!!!!
Hi guys....
I'm starting my day with mixed feelings. I'm anxious yet excited. I'm going for an important test today..shussh! Not the pregnancy test..still no luck in that department yet. Instead I'm going off to sit for an English language test. Apparently, my "Mat Salleh" is not at par as to what considered as 'perfect' english here. Of course, I can whipped out some twang but failed to see the need to do so. Thus, I do my talking with my Malay tongue lah... That doesn't rub well with the so-called English 'experts' here. In a way, it is humiliating. After a degree in english, I was told to brush up my language skill. But humilation is a great source in learning humility..i guess for me it is like that.
Anyway, I'm just happy to get out even for awhile from this dinghole. Just hope I can pass will flying colours. It will be a good reminder that I'm doing well in something,though it is as petty as english placement test. In a place where you are underappreciated, small victory does count.
So, du'a for me. Let me not stutter nor embarassed myself.
Yippeeee!!!!
I'm starting my day with mixed feelings. I'm anxious yet excited. I'm going for an important test today..shussh! Not the pregnancy test..still no luck in that department yet. Instead I'm going off to sit for an English language test. Apparently, my "Mat Salleh" is not at par as to what considered as 'perfect' english here. Of course, I can whipped out some twang but failed to see the need to do so. Thus, I do my talking with my Malay tongue lah... That doesn't rub well with the so-called English 'experts' here. In a way, it is humiliating. After a degree in english, I was told to brush up my language skill. But humilation is a great source in learning humility..i guess for me it is like that.
Anyway, I'm just happy to get out even for awhile from this dinghole. Just hope I can pass will flying colours. It will be a good reminder that I'm doing well in something,though it is as petty as english placement test. In a place where you are underappreciated, small victory does count.
So, du'a for me. Let me not stutter nor embarassed myself.
Yippeeee!!!!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Blog Binging!!!!!
Yeah...as usual after a long idea(s) drought, I'm back. So sekarang akan blog binging sampai muntah. Bear with me...
Hari ni hadiah yang aku tempah nun jauh di Eropah telah pung selamat tiba untuk sahabat aku yang kadang-kadang suka lupa diri pada aku (mutual!)iaitu hencik Khai. Seronot giler...aku harap ko sukalah khai. Ni jek yang mampu akak bagi. Itu pung saman sebab terlupa b-day ko. So, bila balik nanti jangan lupa bawak hadiah hari jadi aku pulak. Keh..keh..keh...Ada ubi ada batas. Tapi kalo ko tak melompat-lompat dan tekan tubi macam aku tatkala melihat hadiah tu nanti, hanya satu jek yang mampu akau katakan..."ADA AKU KISAH?". Dah beli dengan penuh keyakinan terhadap taste aku yang best dan kelas gitu..
Hari ni jugak, aku dapat message dari Ana. Hek..hek..hek...sori le tak dan nak contact-contact. Bukan apa, aku tengah depressant di tempat hot, popular dan uwek ni. I'm so out of my element sampaikan ada kalanya aku rasa macam aku ni bongok je la pulak. Tapi aku bukan tak leh buat kerja..kena kasi kerja yang aku tahu ler. Uwaaaa!!1 aku sendiri dah konpius ni.
Hari lagi, aku terguris hati dengan seseorang yang sibuk pasal aku tak de anak lagi. Hmm..kurang mengerti aku. Dulu tak kawin, sibuk tanya bila nak berlaki. Ni dah kawin, sibuk tanya pasal bila nak beranak pulak. Aku berterima kasihlah kalo ada yang bebetul concern. Tapi please don't cross the line dengan memberikan nasihat percuma about things yang hanya Aku-Gynae-Tuhan jek yang tahu. Bak kata ustaz masa tazkirah di Paroi ari tu.."Kita asyik suruh orang yang tak de anak tu berusaha, tapi tahukah kita betapa 'keras' dia dah berusaha masih tak dapat-dapat jugak? Maka untuk tak melukakan hati tanpa sengaja, biar Allah jek yang menentukan rezeki hamba-Nya" So, ada paham? Kun fa ya kun beb..kun fa ya kun.
Anyway, tetiba aku writer's block la pulak. Maka sambung lain kali jek la. Lagipun aku menghitung detik jek ni nak chow-chin-chow dari lubuk antu ni. Oh yesh..untuk sesapa yang tak tau, i had the shock of my life bila berpindah di tempat baru ni. aku yang mula-mula teruja kerana memikirkan tempat bermain baru ni banyak yang bleh belajar telah menjadi terkesima kerana sana-sini memlihat zombie berkeliaran tanpa hal tuju. takut beb...takut kena 'makan' ngan zombie-zombie ni jugak. sekarang, macam dah ada simptom kena jangkitan. Masih boleh bertahanlah tapi hala tuju strategik sebelum ke sini nampak makin tak logik. nak ngadu takut kena penalti. So, tiap-tiap hari aku kenalah walk among the deads.
Sabar jelah...Ya Allah, bantulah hamba-Mu yang dhaif ini ke jalan yang diredhai. Janganlah Kau golongkan aku di kalangan orang yang teraniaya mahupun yang menganiayai diri sendiri.
Amin..
Hari ni hadiah yang aku tempah nun jauh di Eropah telah pung selamat tiba untuk sahabat aku yang kadang-kadang suka lupa diri pada aku (mutual!)iaitu hencik Khai. Seronot giler...aku harap ko sukalah khai. Ni jek yang mampu akak bagi. Itu pung saman sebab terlupa b-day ko. So, bila balik nanti jangan lupa bawak hadiah hari jadi aku pulak. Keh..keh..keh...Ada ubi ada batas. Tapi kalo ko tak melompat-lompat dan tekan tubi macam aku tatkala melihat hadiah tu nanti, hanya satu jek yang mampu akau katakan..."ADA AKU KISAH?". Dah beli dengan penuh keyakinan terhadap taste aku yang best dan kelas gitu..
Hari ni jugak, aku dapat message dari Ana. Hek..hek..hek...sori le tak dan nak contact-contact. Bukan apa, aku tengah depressant di tempat hot, popular dan uwek ni. I'm so out of my element sampaikan ada kalanya aku rasa macam aku ni bongok je la pulak. Tapi aku bukan tak leh buat kerja..kena kasi kerja yang aku tahu ler. Uwaaaa!!1 aku sendiri dah konpius ni.
Hari lagi, aku terguris hati dengan seseorang yang sibuk pasal aku tak de anak lagi. Hmm..kurang mengerti aku. Dulu tak kawin, sibuk tanya bila nak berlaki. Ni dah kawin, sibuk tanya pasal bila nak beranak pulak. Aku berterima kasihlah kalo ada yang bebetul concern. Tapi please don't cross the line dengan memberikan nasihat percuma about things yang hanya Aku-Gynae-Tuhan jek yang tahu. Bak kata ustaz masa tazkirah di Paroi ari tu.."Kita asyik suruh orang yang tak de anak tu berusaha, tapi tahukah kita betapa 'keras' dia dah berusaha masih tak dapat-dapat jugak? Maka untuk tak melukakan hati tanpa sengaja, biar Allah jek yang menentukan rezeki hamba-Nya" So, ada paham? Kun fa ya kun beb..kun fa ya kun.
Anyway, tetiba aku writer's block la pulak. Maka sambung lain kali jek la. Lagipun aku menghitung detik jek ni nak chow-chin-chow dari lubuk antu ni. Oh yesh..untuk sesapa yang tak tau, i had the shock of my life bila berpindah di tempat baru ni. aku yang mula-mula teruja kerana memikirkan tempat bermain baru ni banyak yang bleh belajar telah menjadi terkesima kerana sana-sini memlihat zombie berkeliaran tanpa hal tuju. takut beb...takut kena 'makan' ngan zombie-zombie ni jugak. sekarang, macam dah ada simptom kena jangkitan. Masih boleh bertahanlah tapi hala tuju strategik sebelum ke sini nampak makin tak logik. nak ngadu takut kena penalti. So, tiap-tiap hari aku kenalah walk among the deads.
Sabar jelah...Ya Allah, bantulah hamba-Mu yang dhaif ini ke jalan yang diredhai. Janganlah Kau golongkan aku di kalangan orang yang teraniaya mahupun yang menganiayai diri sendiri.
Amin..
Aku Dah Bosan...
Dah lama tak menulis di blog ni...tapi dah ada kesempatan nak meluahkan perasaan ni baiklah digunakan sepenuhnya agar tidak hilang akal ku ini..
Anyway, aku sekarang tengah house hunting. Takkanlah selamanya nak duduk menyewa di kuartes kerajaan ni. Nanti syok-syok tak ingat dunia, tup tup bila dah sehari nak pencen baru sedar rumah sendiri tak ada. Haru beb...maka aku kenalah membuat perancangan strategik demi menjamin masa depan aku dan keluargaku..Chewah!
Tapi, ni yang aku malas ni. Bila meng'house hunting' ni akan terdedahlah aku kepada realiti yang selama ni aku berusaha nak elak. Nak terkeluar biji mata aku nengok harga rumah sekarang ni. Kalau nak yang best-best, kenalah bersedia meleburkan lebih kurang 1/2 juta. Adush..mana nak cari beb? Silap-silap haribulan dok umah kotak jek jawabnya.
Macam mana nak memenuhi cita-cita menjadi Urban Malay? Economy wise, tak terdaya nak jadi competitive. Gaji den boleh beli replica umah lego ja...
Tu..apa solusinya?
Anyway, aku sekarang tengah house hunting. Takkanlah selamanya nak duduk menyewa di kuartes kerajaan ni. Nanti syok-syok tak ingat dunia, tup tup bila dah sehari nak pencen baru sedar rumah sendiri tak ada. Haru beb...maka aku kenalah membuat perancangan strategik demi menjamin masa depan aku dan keluargaku..Chewah!
Tapi, ni yang aku malas ni. Bila meng'house hunting' ni akan terdedahlah aku kepada realiti yang selama ni aku berusaha nak elak. Nak terkeluar biji mata aku nengok harga rumah sekarang ni. Kalau nak yang best-best, kenalah bersedia meleburkan lebih kurang 1/2 juta. Adush..mana nak cari beb? Silap-silap haribulan dok umah kotak jek jawabnya.
Macam mana nak memenuhi cita-cita menjadi Urban Malay? Economy wise, tak terdaya nak jadi competitive. Gaji den boleh beli replica umah lego ja...
Tu..apa solusinya?
Life Lesson
This is not originally mine but what harm could it make to spread the good words around huh? something to mull over...funny tapi boleh makan dalam beb..Anyway, enjoyz!
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life..'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not'. So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it..
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 4
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 5
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life..'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not'. So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it..
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 4
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 5
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
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